Taken from Andrea and Regina.
We sat on the picnic tables after class and confessed how crazy we are?
We sat on the hoods of our cars at S'leven and read our sappy poetry to each other?
We would walk in Colonial Williamsburg in the wee hours of morning, and you held me captive with your pretty thoughts?
You told me what limerance was and then cheesily pointed out constellations to me?
I kissed you for the first time and then ran inside because I was afraid of what it meant?
When I was your puzzle piece?
We watched Merlin downstairs and had secrets on the couch?
When I brought Matilda Mouse home because they were going to feed her to a snake?
We would just drive and drive all night just to go somewhere--anywhere with each other?
You called me Kitten?
We went to Virginia Beach with your family, and when you were playing frisbee with your brother, God started crying because you were so bad?
We told secrets in the woods in your neighbourhood?
We would go to IHOP just to see Adreias and Paigan?
We went to Cracker Barrel for that crazy Teresa-lady?
I would cook Pho-Thai for you?
We had love-child fish, and mice, and rats?
We pumpkin-carved with your family?
We had Thanksgiving with your family?
We made a Snoopy Gingerbread doghouse, and you were afraid it would collapse like my Weasley one, so you built it solid like a brick shit-house?
We watched Firefly on your compute and fought over who got to sit in the control seat? (the recliner was really more comfortable.)
We "road tripped" to the Parkway and slept in your safari wagon?
You washed my hair with the yummy shampoo?
We drove to Farmville and you met John, and then we went to Harrisonburg to meet Lauren, and she was all different?
I bought you a magenta silk tie?
Bret got banned from drinking at Corner Pocket?
We went to see "Pursuit of Happyness" with your family on Christmas?
We walked a bazillion miles in Richmond and ended up crossing that bridge and seeing Richmond's version of rapids and the Grand Canyon? (This is the first time I ever got pictures of us.)
You played that pennywhistle at my work in Richmond, and I thought you were really weird?
We B.S.'d that sociology project (the one with the Roseanne-family genogram) and still managed to pass?
You left a huge Valentine and chocolate and roses on my car when I was at work?
I went through that always-burning-incense phase?
I brought you dinner at work?
We ate quecumberts and mozzerella for months straight?
Everything was joots?
You loved my little puppy?
You listened to nothing but Illinoise Track 4 on repeat?
We decided the hottest TV sex phrase was "I swell to think of you inside me", but that when we tried it, it just incited laughter?
Noodle!
We made the biggest mistake of our lives, and now I'll never be able to tell you any of this?
Do You Remember That Time...
Anguish
Devious Comments
I have a word document that kind of served as a diary, and i used it through the whole relationship, there are pretty and lovely things for quite awhile before it all turns sour..
--
Inní mér syngur vitleysingur.
--
"I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am."
--Sylvia Plath
____________________________
It's so frustrating that something that could have been good and easy was marred by some strange selfish desire in him.
I try to understand people really quickly after meeting them, and I think I'm pretty good at it. But I knew him for a long time, and he still confounds me. I mean I understand how he is, but I can't put myself in his head.
Anyway this was totally his doing. I felt sympathy for him and tried so hard to make other people understand him and understand our relationship for a really long time, but I eventually had to (was forced to) give up.
I feel like it could have gotten so much worse had you stayed with him or not. The bad outweighed the good in my relationship with him, and it seems like it was doing that in yours too.
It's ok to be afraid, and it's ok even to be a recluse sometimes. It IS a really bad situation. It won't stay this bad though, everything passes, and you'll have the chance to make a lot of new memories with different people who won't leech and take advantage of you..
If you ever want company I could probably make it up there sometime
--
Inní mér syngur vitleysingur.
It's actually really weird to me how the transition from "good" to "mostly good" to "mostly bad" to "all bad" happened. Even with all this bad stuff happening I feel like I have alotalot of awesome memories with him. He helped me see so many more things as beautiful than I previously had but at a great cost. I lost myself, my writing, my independence, my money...everything. I just feel so guilty now, and I can't logically explain why. He did this, but I want to save him. Josh talked to him last night. I'll tell you about that either in person or on gAIM. Robert is also acting...odd? different? I donno. I have even more to sort out, but I appreciate you being there. We'll talk.
--
"I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am."
--Sylvia Plath
____________________________
Previous PageNext Page