Update on the truly Mr. Wonderful
Mood:
illfinedoingdandyListening to: Sufjan Stevens--A Sun Came!
Reading: Desperation (Stephen King) Forgive Me.
Watching: Eternal Sunshine, last.
So, I shot David an email this morning saying everything I wanted to say. I told him how uncomfortable I felt, and that I really wanted to slow down. His response shocked me, and I am now assured that he really is as decent as he acts. This is what he said:
Date: Aug 28, 2006 3:26 PM Flag spam/abuse [? ]
Subject: RE: No Subject
I guess all I can say is that I am sorry. Not everymoment of my life has to be planed out. For the time being it kinda has to be that way so that my parents don't flip on me. I will keep my hands to my-self and I hope that this is not the end. I will try and not push you away. I kinda go the feeling that it might have been over lastnight. I will focus our conversations on something other than a potential future with "us" in the eqation. Fyi the brakes are on and you get to choose the pace. I really do like spending time with you because I can talk to you and I may not be your intellectual equal, but that doesn't mean you can start your teaching career early with one student. I am sure that you have a vast amount of knowlage that I do not have and I would like to learn from you with our conversation. So I hope this is not the end.
David or Davey u choose
I finally feel like I did the right thing by telling him what I was thinking. Maybe things will get better...
On to other things. My puppy's prostate has somehow gotten HUGE. So, today, he is officially neutered. I feel guilty like I've made him less of a man-dog. He's angry and groggy and biting everything. I know this was the best decision, but I feel like a bad mommy.
Question: Is it wrong to maintain conversation (sometimes on a sexual level...though never materializing into the physical) with an ex (with whom there is no longer an emotional attachment) while dating Mr. Wonderful (with whom I desire nothing sexual)? Even if Mr. Wonderful is not aware?
Question: What makes you happy?
LISTEN TO SUFJAN STEVENS GODDAMNIT.
AND SMOG.
AND THE DECEMBERISTS.
AND CATALDO.
Devious Comments
As for what makes me happy...
The poetry section in bookstores
Finishing a really, really good book
Leon
Talking (calmly) with my mother
Good conversations
Innes and Gunn Pale Ale
--
Blog: One Night Stanzas
Magazine: Read This Magazine
Store: Read This, Etsy!
As hard as it is, don't hide things. Believe me, I had to learn it, humble myself
(damn hard) and open myself up.
You'll feel better after. Promise.
*hearts*
--
I hear
your voice
down the hall, through the window, above
all those trees, a light
it seems
& you are singing. What song
is that The words
are beautiful.
-LeRoi Jones
--
its not too late to become what you were meant to be
As for your first question, if you wouldn't feel comfortable telling him that this is going on then you probably shouldn't be doing it, for your own sake. Guilt can be a bitch.
And music makes me happy. Heartfelt and strong music.
--
"Roll your windows down, the summer's nearly gone and only hours stand between you and the cold that's coming on"
-The Alternate Routes
You shouldn't ever do anything that you wouldn't want to tell the most important people, much less admit to yourself.
Easier said than done.
I can talk about sexual stuff with anyone, it doesn't bother me. And everyone knows I have that capacity. So, for me, I wouldn't feel guilty. And you shouldn't feel guilty/nervous/unsure about talking to anyone, ever.
You asked me that before. Simple answer=music.
--
-kat
--
I came. I saw. I left for Vegas.
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